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I have to write at least 1,200 words, 40 to 50 paragraphs and 100 or more sentences in one of my columns. No baseless one-liners for me. Attila the Editor won't let me get away with anything that easy.
Let's see. What if printers ran their marketing like the Presidential candidates? You could say things like, "Demon Litho is guilty of ghosting, dot gain and is out of register by at least four rows of dots." You could instruct your salespeople to say, "Rascal Label's pressroom crew is always drunk. They're late 100 percent on all jobs." You could also pronounce, "Scoundrel Printing is a price-cutting prostitute who will kill you with AAs."
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