Outting Sales Slackers —DeWese

This is a column about work. That’s right, work! Don’t hang up on me!

I know you work hard. I know you are diligent. I know you are tireless. I’m not writing about you. I’m writing about a bunch of people you know. They are called slackers.

You will enjoy this column because it’s about a bunch of other people that you know and see every day at work. They are the slackers. While you are working, they are slacking.

You’ll get vicarious, sweet pleasure reading about these worthless cheaters who show up, but do little work. There’s that word again. Work.

This country is in deep squat because of all the slacking that’s going on by the goof-offs. They play Solitaire for hours at work and then at home. They surf the Internet for hours at home and work, visiting sites ranging from Gospel.com to Mypsoriasis.com. Some slackers are compulsive Internet shoppers at eBay and other sites that sell stuff. Slackers buy a lot of stuff because it makes them feel good and they can mask their guilt for not working.

Our dear printing industry has slackers and we are stupid for not firing them so they can go “slack up” some other industry.

My research shows we would be 78.67 percent more profitable without the damn slackers. They have to go. We’ve got to get tough and pull the trigger on the lazy laggards. They hurt other workers who could be making more money and be a lot happier if they didn’t have to witness the labor avoidance of the slothful slackers.

Starting at the Top
There are also printing company presidents who are slackers. Frequently, these are men who look good in their suits, get their nails done, have nice hair and gleaming teeth. They are glib, articulate and have a dandy resume.