How Not to Succeed —DeWese

I HEAR from a lot of print sales professionals. The calls are from underachievers, overachievers and the mediocre folks in the middle.

The underachievers and the mediocre achievers want to become overachievers. Lately, I’m getting e-mail and phone calls from overachievers who seek an escape to mediocrity. They say overachievement is too much pressure. I’ll explain.

Overachievers are in the top tax bracket. The sons and daughters of overachievers want new cars, the latest fashions, monogrammed iPods and their own credit cards. Their spouses want club memberships, BMWs and million-dollar-plus homes.

The overachievers’ bosses are forever demanding more, more, more! The bosses lean on the overachievers because the underachievers cannot be motivated. These printing company owners may be getting 30 percent to 40 percent of their sales from one overachiever. It’s likely, since these sales are generated by the best salespeople, that these jobs are the most profitable for the company.

The owners know they have too many eggs in too few baskets. They worry, “What happens if my Superstar is wooed away by a competitor? Or, what if my Winner is struck by lightning and forgets the difference between web and sheetfed?”

The answer is scary. The owner realizes he won’t be able keep up the payments on the six-color.

So the load never lessens for the Superstars. It is expected that every year they will perform better than the last. It’s no wonder some of these accomplished salespeople are looking for a way out.

Who else would they turn to but yours truly, the Mañana Man? For he is a man who is all knowing, the fountain of all sales knowledge.

Recipe for Failure

If you want to strive for mediocrity, you must start by fixing your appearance. Every day must be a bad hair day. Fingernails should either be too long or bitten too short and, above all, dirty. Start shopping at consignment stores for ill-fitting and tired clothing. Your clothing should either be too tight or way too large. Women should wear tops that show ample décolleté (for Marvelle Stump this means cleavage).