Power of Strategy Sessions —DeWese
This is another Ph.D session at Mañana University. Students from all over America have come to our campus to earn their doctorates in print sales.
Please take your seats and prepare to take notes.
First, I have some announcements to make.
Regrettably, I have suspended Monique for the remainder of this term. She will no longer be participating in our classes. Monique has become too great of a distraction. Instead, I will be teaching her one-on-one in my office here on campus. Hopefully, I can keep her focused and she can return to class next spring.
Some milestones have passed for me since our last class. The first was my 68th birthday. My crankiness index has moved up another level. I am even more obstreperous and much less patient.
Utilize a Different Word
In addition, Attila the Nun, my wife (for any of you new readers) and I celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary a few days ago. Well, "celebrated" may not be the right word. We battled throughout the day and I lost. She does not abide by the Marquis of Queensbury rules and, when I complain, she hits me with convenient heavy objects.
It can suffice that I came away from both events much less tolerant, with many bruises and I am now compelled to call the class' attention to two of my peeves. So take notes.
I want you to stop using the word utilize for one month. Whatever happened to the word use? You can visit the lowliest, dirt-floor tavern and you are apt to hear, "She utilized a cast iron fryin' pan and hit me upside the head while I was sleepin'. I never had a chance to utilize any self-defense."
Come on. Try it. Use worked well for centuries. You will like it, and your listeners won't think you are a just another phony trying to impress them with your superior vocabulary.