
Last time, Fire Enterprises, Inc. (FEI) President Org, Marka the marketer, Zoot the salesperson and Numo the accountant discussed the benefits and uses of a “Customer Nurture Program” for targeting businesses. Today, Marka and Zoot go back to basics with a talk on the importance of “Creating Irresistible Customer Relationships.” Remember, fire = print.
Marka and Zoot were relaxing at Red Argus, the hottest tavern in Olympus. Whether you wanted to complain about the latest tax on grape leaves, watch a rollicking chariot race, or just drink a cool pitcher of grog, the Argus had it all.
“If I remember correctly, there are three goals of successful marketing,” Zoot said to Marka, putting a pitcher of grog to his well-moisturized lips.
“Yep,” Marka said, a little distracted by the chariot race on the O-television.
“Hey, pay attention! We’ve only been over two. What’s the third?” Zoot asked.
“Pop marketing quiz, Zoot,” Marka started, placing a hand on her friend’s thick, muscular shoulder. “If your customers say, ‘You’ve never given us a reason to leave.’ should you be happy?”
“Sure?” Zoot said, somehow knowing this was the wrong answer, even as he said it.
“No!” Marka said, jumping onto the bar and grabbing the salesman by his toga. “On the contrary! You should be alarmed. Statements like this indicate your customers are buying out of habit, not loyalty.”
Zoot looked up at Marka. She had a rare elusive mix of enthusiasm and good sense. Three Cyclops’ visiting from the island of Crete figured she’d had one too many grogs and were cheering her on.
“A thriving, service-oriented business like ours should hear customers say: ‘FEI is the best fire provider we have.’ ‘They bail me out of tough jams.’ and ‘They’ve never let me down!’ ” Marka declared, pointing toward the ceiling.

Very much alive and now officially an industry curmudgeon, strategic growth expert T. J. Tedesco can be reached at tj@tjtedesco.com or 301-404-2244.