Lessons in Integrity --DeWese

In short, this is your only, and final, warning to clean up your act and simply write the facts.

Yours truly, The Editorial Staff

I'm not going to take this vicious attack lying down. I have been to the mountaintop, and I'll fire when I see the whites of their eyes.

To you skuzzy editor types, I say I am a flattering painter, who made it his care to draw men as they ought to be, not as they are. And to that I hasten to add a day, an hour, of virtuous liberty is worth a whole eternity in bondage, and what's more a dwarf sees farther than the giant when he has the giant's shoulder to mount on. I think I originally said that thing about the dwarf and giant in a column in 1994.

Do you see how this great stuff just rolls out of my brain? How can you steal words if you don't read words? Everybody knows that I don't read. Why would I want the words of others to muddy up my mind? And you accuse me of plagiarism? Hah!

I suppose you think I just made up the Mañana Man's Second Great American Print Sales Prospecting Contest and that it never actually happened. I guess you think I just fabricated the winners, and that PCA Inc. of Baltimore; Victor Graphics, also of Baltimore; Worth Higgins & Associates of Richmond, VA; Ambrose Printing, Nashville, TN; and Saint Clair Press of Indianapolis, don't exist.

They do exist and they won by working hard. Next month I will prove their existence when I profile each of the winners and print photographs of the winning salespeople.

All of these winning salespeople live by two of my more famous quotes: the absence of occupation is not rest and a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.