Flattery Will Get You EVERYWHERE
I like to be flattered. Who doesn’t? Being told I am pretty by anyone other than a salesman trying to sell me hand cream at the mall can make my day.
But let me tell you a few things about women like me… [I suspect the same is true for some men, but I am not a man, so you’ll have to chime in and let me know.] We like to be told that we are pretty, but what we like even MORE is to be told that we are valuable, smart and important.
So, if you are in a position to identify specifically WHY someone you are talking to is any of those things, you should find a way to express it.
Here is what I mean. I was on the phone with someone in the industry who was seeking to pick my brain about a few things. He had logged into one of our recent PI webinars, and decided to reach out to me because he wanted me to expand on a few of our observations.
In the course of our very interesting discussion, he asked my opinion about a few things, gave me a few pieces of advice that were VERY valuable to me and my business, and managed to flatter me in the process—both overtly and subtly. He expressed himself on specific attributes he felt I possessed, all on the basis of one 30-minute conversation and one hour-long webinar in which he listened to my half of a discussion with the always fabulous Bill Farquharson.
Was he being sincere? I think so. Because he was not trying to convince me, persuade me, or sell me a timeshare, he had no reason to be anything but honest and open with me. And there’s the kicker. If you are in a position to flatter someone—sincerely, honestly and specifically—you ALSO have to find a way to make it sound genuine, and not that you are just trying to curry favor so your services will be chosen.