Some Column Topic Help –DeWese

EDITOR’S NOTE: Many readers have written us to inquire about the creative process behind Harris DeWese’s zany columns in our magazine. The source of Harris’ inspiration is a mystery to us. We do know that the fool has a monthly creative meeting with his alter ego, The Mañana Man. We share your curiosity, so we tape recorded the pathetic “creative meeting” between DeWese and The Mañana Man that led to the column that follows.

Audio Transcription:

DeWese is heard muttering to himself, “He was supposed to be here an hour ago. He’s late for every creative meeting every month.”

DeWese: Oh, there you are. Take off that silly sombrero and sit down. We’ve got a lot of work to do. I’d like to write a good column for a change. By the way, where have you been?

Mañana Man: It’s Cinco de Mayo. We’ve been celebrating with a little tequila. I only came down here to borrow 20 bucks.

DeWese: Oh yeah? If you can tell me what Cinco de Mayo commemorates and give me a topic for this column, then I’ll give you 20 bucks.

Mañana Man: Cinco de Mayo is the date we ran the French out of Mexico. That rotten Napoleon III was trying to capture our homeland. Get your own column topic. I’m tired of carrying you month after month. Gimme 20 bucks!

DeWese: You carrying me? You haven’t come up with a topic for a column since 1994, and I’m still getting hate letters for that one.

Mañana Man: Gimme 20 bucks.

DeWese: You are of no help. I’ll do this myself. I can go out on the street and ask complete strangers who will give me better topics than you can dream up.

Editor: At this point DeWese stormed out of the room and was last seen approaching strangers on Broad Street in downtown Philadelphia. So much for our learning anything about the creative process.

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