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Printers Make Presidential Run –DeWese

January 2012

Welcome television audience to the campus of Ham Hock Community College (HHCC) here in Geneva, Alabama. Welcome to our studio audience, which is comprised of HHCC students, faculty and residents of Geneva. We will be taking some questions from the studio audience and from viewers on Yahoo and Facebook.

This is the first debate among presidential candidates running for the nomination to represent the new Graphic Arts Coalition. As you know, this is a third party that is challenging the Republicans and the Democrats. The belief behind the founding of the Graphic Arts Coalition is that managing a successful printing company is the most difficult managerial job in all of business, industry and government. Hence, a manager from our industry should make a great president.

I am Harris DeWese, the lead moderator for tonight's debate. Joining me, as my assistant moderator, is my longtime associate of 27 years, the Mañana Man.

We have 11 candidates here on stage and, regrettably, we have only one microphone. Rules for this debate were established among the candidates in advance of this evening and, after several fist fights, they agreed to the following rules:

  1. There will be no consumption of alcohol during the debate.
  2. Candidates will lose points if they strike an opponent.
  3. Curse words are strictly prohibited.
  4. Candidates who wish to use wacky-tobacky or over-the-counter prescription drugs must step outside the side door to the gymnasium.
  5. Some candidates slammed down some shots prior to the debate, some others smoked some funny hand-rolled cigarettes and some did both. Now speaking slowly, I remind you that you have a two-minute limit for your answers.

Harris: I will begin the debate with a question for Lou Baiocchini. Lou, am I pronouncing your name correctly?

Lou: Yo, Harris. Das right.

Harris: Lou, tell us what company you own and where it's located.

Lou: My company is Royal Litho and it's located in Queens, New York.

Harris: This question comes from one of our Internet viewers. She writes, "If you are elected president, what will you do to reduce unemployment and get our economy moving?"

Lou: I will temporarily eliminate the pay checks and all of the perks for every member of Congress until unemployment is down to less than 4 percent, our budget is balanced and our federal spending is exactly equal to federal tax receipts.

 

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