Influence: The Pathway to Positive Results

“The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and to influence their actions.”
—John Hancock

It’s been said that what makes us successful over the long-term has a ton to do with our social interactions and the influence we do or don’t have with other people. John C. Maxwell, a leadership expert and author, emphasizes that “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.” Our life experiences support the importance of influence to get the positive results we seek. Let’s explore important tips to help us develop greater influence with people in our lives.

Here are 15 ways to develop greater influence, derived from a range of experts.

1. Communicate an Optimistic, Empowered Mindset

Speaking on her work with fellow researcher Shawn Achor, positive psychology researcher Michelle Gielan wrote, “Our research shows that choosing to communicate an optimistic, empowered mindset to people around you — especially in the face of adversity — drives positive business outcomes.” One tip for having an optimistic mindset is to start your day by focusing on information that motivates and inspires you. One disheartening statistic: Just three minutes of negative news in the morning increases our chances of having a bad day by 27%.

Another tip is to carefully choose our closest friends — people who are positive, competent, and of good character. Entrepreneur Jim Rohn advises, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” A final tip is to invest time reading from good books that will help you edify, grow, and develop yourself — I start with the Bible, and also read many other books over the course of a year.

2. Smile, Even If You Are Feeling Down

You may have heard the expression “fake it until you make it.” The same principle applies when things go wrong or you are feeling down; smile and it will put you in a better mood. When we smile, we release endorphins (happy hormones) and ease bodily tension — and people will smile in return.

3. Be Grateful

Happiness is contagious. A great way to be happy is to be thankful for all the things (e.g., relationships, health, experiences, responsibilities, meaningful possessions, etc.) we have. We often focus on what we don’t have, or on the things that are not going as planned, so we forget to be thankful. Making a daily habit of being grateful for everything we do have will give us a positive attitude that will rub off on other people.

4. Be Honest

Honesty is truly the best policy. The truth seems to always come out eventually, so we might as well be honest all the time. By being honest in tough situations, people will come to trust and respect us, and our influence will grow.

5. Always Do Your Best

We gain respect from people when we do our jobs the best we can. People appreciate leaders and co-workers that are dedicated, dependable, and work hard. Doing our best gives us a positive sense of self and purpose and sets a good example for those on our teams.

6. Always Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’

Good manners are a passport to better relationships. People will go the extra mile when treated with courtesy and respect. Having good manners shows people we care about them and puts the Golden Rule of treating others the way we would want to be treated into action.

7. Avoid Gossip

As you know, gossip is common in most workplaces, but it can also be the most demoralizing thing we do at work. Participating in gossip undermines the trust and respect people put in us and can spread negativity throughout the team and organization like cancer. Instead, don’t get involved with gossip. Talking about others behind their backs is never a good idea and will diminish our influence with others.

8. Be Diplomatic

People will say or do things that irritate us, and the key is to stay calm and objective. In the book of James in the Bible, Saint James exhorts us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. When we remain calm, we stay in control of the situation and set a good example for others that see how we respond.

9. Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

Dale Carnegie, author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” wisely observed, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” The best way to make quality, lasting relationships is to learn to be genuinely interested in others and their interests.

10. Be a Good Listener; Encourage Others to Talk About Themselves

Want to become a better conversationalist? Become a good listener. To become a good listener, we must actually care about what people have to say. One of Stephen Covey’s core habits from his book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is to “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Best practices for listening include eye contact and affirmative body language; asking clarifying questions; repeating back to ensure understanding, and avoiding distractions (e.g., phones, TV, computers, etc.).

11. Give Credit to Others When Credit Is Due

People like to be appreciated. Author Sheri L. Dew advised, “Having influence is not about elevating self, but about lifting others.” After years of study, esteemed psychologist William James concluded the No. 1 need for most people is the need to be appreciated. People like to know the work they are doing is being noticed and they are doing a good job — so let’s tell them. When we express sincere appreciation for their work, it makes them feel good, builds trust and our relationship with them, and improves morale.

12. Make the Other Person Feel Important — And Do It Sincerely

We love to feel important, and so does everyone else. Author Roy T. Bennett was right when he said, “One of the best ways to influence people is to make them feel important.” We have already mentioned a few ways to help people feel important. Another way to help people feel important is to provide recognition. Recognition can come in many forms: verbal, texts, emails, handwritten notes/cards, certificates of appreciation, experiences (e.g., sports event, concert, movie), gift cards, money, promotions, special training or development opportunity, special assignments … the list goes on.

13. Show You Are Glad for Others’ Successes

It’s great to see people doing well, but often we get busy and don’t express our happiness for them. Showing you’re glad means actively helping them celebrate their successes. In the Romans book of the Bible, Saint Paul encourages us to “rejoice with those that rejoice.” There are many ways to celebrate and rejoice with others. Examples including sending flowers, verbally saying “well done,” sending an email/text, or giving a card or handwritten note. When we make the effort to show we are glad for others, we build greater connections and relationships.

14. Stay Neutral and Objective When Things Go Wrong

Life and work consist of both good times and bad times. We can lead with positive influence when we navigate through the peaks and valleys with hope and optimism. This includes remaining calm, neutral, and objective as opposed to casting blame and being emotional and subjective. We earn the respect of others and have more influence when we model positive behaviors in light of negative circumstances.

15. Be Respectful of Other Cultures

We work in increasingly diverse workplaces. Part of that diversity includes working with many people of different cultures and ethnicities. By getting to know other people’s traditions, foods, and beliefs, we can develop a respect and appreciation for who they are. Every culture has something positive we can learn from, and showing respect to all people regardless of cultural differences can help us earn the respect of others.

Respected leadership expert Ken Blanchard wisely reflected, “The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority.”

I wish you my best as you develop an even greater influence with people and achieve even greater results!