Special Session for ‘Losers’ —DeWese

Professor DeWese: "Monique, remove your arm from Gerald's shoulder and stop massaging his neck! That is one of the worst answers I have ever heard. Many failing salespeople blame everyone but themselves. Some even blame the customers. At least you didn't blame them."

Monique LaFlamme: "As a matter of fact, my lousy customers show me no loyalty. I am forever having to call them to beg for an order. Back when I was an entertainer, my clients were there every night with fistfuls of dollar bills."

Professor DeWese: "Next question. List the face-to-face sales calls you made during the previous 30 days. Break them down into categories by existing clients and prospective customers. Gerald, if you can concentrate, please give us your answer."

Gerald Donally: "Professor DeWese, you are an idiot. I didn't list any calls. We are in a recession. According to the TV, nobody has any money. Why should I waste my time trying to make sales calls? I'm getting a good paycheck. I'm gonna rest up and save my energy for when the economy is good again."

Professor DeWese: "Thank you, Gerald. You can go back to reading your comic book. The next question was to list the names of the prospective accounts that you researched and contacted during the previous 30 days. Marvelle, why don't you take this one."

Marvelle Stump: "I researched my best prospect here in Hot Coffee, Mississippi. It is Loudermilk Used Cars out on Highway 41. First, I bought a 2001 pickup to get acquainted and to break the ice. Just as I was gettin' started with my research, the bank come over and repossessed all of Mr. Loudermilk's inventory. So, I got to start all over again. I'm gonna research the Baptist Church and see if I can't print its Sunday church bulletins. That's an every week job."

Academic Probation

Professor DeWese: "Marvelle, that's the best answer so far. But, you should have researched 25 to 30 prospects, not only in Hot Coffee. Jump out there and think about finding some customers in Jackson. The next question asked you to list the account review meetings you conducted with clients and the appropriate personnel from your company. Could I have a volunteer to read your list?"

Marvelle Stump: "No, but..."

Professor DeWese: "Ok, Marvelle. Do you want to answer another question? No? I see. You just want to go to the restroom. You are excused. As to the rest of you, I'm not going to ask for your answers since none of you conducted any account review meetings. Next question. Can you legitimately say you solved a problem for any client during the past 30 days? Thornton, what problem did you solve?"

Thornton Thomas: "I jumped the battery of the print buyer at Citibank. She was stranded out in the parking lot with a dead battery, and she was grateful. She even promised to see me sometime."

Professor DeWese: "Way to go, Thornton. It would help if you could pin down the appointment a little more specifically, but you did solve a problem. The final question was an essay question. I asked each of you to write three paragraphs about your three most significant accomplishments during the past 30 days. Looking over your papers, I see that none of you listed any accomplishments relating to print sales. Thornton, you did bowl a 147. Monique, you did show up at the plant 14 days, and you did get a gig on Friday and Saturday night at the VFW Hall.

"None of you are taking this course or your jobs seriously. I don't understand why your companies ever hired you. You need to work 10 hours each day and spend another three hours studying to become better salespeople.

"Now, for the next class I want everyone to write the definition of the following terms: Company Orientation (Loyalty); Presentation Skills; Product Knowledge; Industry Orientation (Pride and Loyalty to the Printing Industry); Research Skills; Marketing Know-how; Sales Planning; Financial Fundamentals; Sales Psychology; and Questioning Techniques.

"I'm putting you all on probation. You have one month to get out there and sell something!" PI

—Harris DeWese

About the Author
Harris DeWese is the author of "Now Get Out There and Sell Something" and "The Mañana Man, Books II and III," available at www.piworld.com/bookstore. He is chairman of Compass Capital Partners and also authors the annual "Compass Report." DeWese has completed more than 150 printing company transactions and is viewed as the industry's preeminent deal maker. He can be reached via e-mail at HDeWese@CompassCapLtd.com.

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