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Next on Best Seller's List --DeWese

October 2003
I've decided to write another book. This book will have lots of pictures and maybe 16-point type. This way, slow readers, like me, can say they read a book and will have something to talk about at cocktail parties.

I have a title. It's a little long, but it covers the book's contents. It's going to be titled, "The Mañana Man's Guide to Cooking, Selling, Parallel Parking, Marriage and Happiness."

The literati, those erudite academic phonies who are my critics, will say, "What qualifies this idiot to write about cooking, selling, marriage and happiness?" They will assert that parallel parking is not even worthy of words. They'll whine that my topics are not related.

Hah! Boy will I prove them wrong. First of all, the topics are not only related, they are synonymous!

As to my qualifications, just ask the people who eat what I cook. I am Nureyev in a kitchen. I am pure grace as I multi-task to create multi-course meals. I was informally trained by my mother the late Jessamine Heinlin DeWese, my grandmother the late Jessie Clyde Heinlin, and my wife's grandmother the late Elizabeth Cobb Allen. Finally, the great chef and a protégé of James Beard, John Clancy of Four Seasons fame, formally trained me. Chef Clancy trained me during the three summers I cooked at the Christopher Ryder House on Cape Cod, where we fed about 600 to 700 well-heeled demanding diners every evening.

As my training progressed, I moved up from Vegetable Boy to Sauce Chef. Now, I'm an eclectic and intuitive cook. My repertoire knows no bounds—name it and I'll cook it for you.

Cooking and selling are the same. You can't cook or sell without self-confidence. You can't be a great cook or a great salesperson without selecting your own ingredients. I do all the grocery shopping because I want to see, touch and smell the vegetables and meat that I'm going to prepare. You have to be intimate with your ingredients, and great salespeople must be intimate with the customers they wish to serve.

Putting in Some Time

It's no good for a sales manager to say, "Here's a good prospect. Go after it." The salesperson must research the prospect and become convinced to develop a personal zeal for selling the new account.

That's just one of the common selling and cooking characteristics I'll cover in my book.

Selling and cooking, of course, segue right into parallel parking. I am one of America's top parallel parkers. I have never, mind you, ever failed to slide my vehicle into the tightest space on the first pass. Parallel parking similarly requires confidence, but it also requires the timing and spatial judgment that only comes from practice. It's the kind of judgment and confidence that accrues through practice; what enabled the Orlando Magic's Tracy McGrady and the New York Knicks' Allan Houston to fire nearly 40 percent from beyond the three-point line last season.

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