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Is Your Glass Half Full? — DeWese

April 2006
FAR BE it for me to categorize people. I’m not one of those pompous jerks that tosses people in baskets shouting out, “Here comes another loser.”

“I’m tossing this pervert in the weirdo box.”

“Look out you introverts, I’ve found another nerd and I’m droppin’ him in your box.”

“Happy days you holy rollers, I’ve found another snake dancin’ poison drinkin’ convert to toss in your barrel!”

I’m not one to stereotype people. No sireee!

Laying the Ground Work

Everyone is different, physically and mentally. We are supposed to appreciate the individual beauty of each person. There are millions and millions of possible combinations of genetic characteristics. I’m tryin’ to be politically correct here. Hey, Mr. Attila the Editor, are you still reading this?

I know that stereotypin’ is wrong. Of course I know that. You see, I’m a high-minded, classy dude.

I take the high road—always. They wouldn’t let me write this column if I was some low-life who put people in boxes.

We all know there are some big classifications. Women and men, for example, are two groups with significant physical, mental and emotional differences.

Women (or the Southern pronunciation “wimmen”) are the little ladies who tend to the children, clean the house and cook our meals, preferably barefoot. Oh, they also drive the kids to soccer practice.

Men are intelligent, fierce hunters who head out each day to slay dragons and bring home the provisions for their families. That’s not exactly correct; women are supposed to take the grocery money they get from the men and then haul the kids in their mini-vans to the grocery store to get the provisions.

We also know that there are salespeople and everybody else. “Everybody else” includes all of the politicians in Congress and the Administration. The difference is easy.

Salespeople are behaviorally sound. Salespeople have their heads screwed on straight.

Politicians have their heads loosely hung on with duct tape and bubble gum, and that is why their heads flip flop and wobble. If this weren’t so, they would be doing something productive like becoming Wal-Mart greeters, preachers or tax accountants.

Salespeople know how to persuade others. Our national politicians couldn’t persuade their way out of a wet paper bag. They spend all of their energy trying to get reelected. They whine and complain about their political adversaries and, if they are the minority party, they scream, “The glass is half empty!”

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