Five Holiday Gifts –DeWese
You have been good readers this year and I am going to give you some Christmas, Hanukkah or Kwanzaa gifts, depending, of course, on your holiday persuasion.
This is another “first ever” column. Giving readers beautifully gift-wrapped presents in a written medium has never been done before. You will recall I was the first columnist to ever hypnotize his readers in a column that I wrote back in 2001. Yeah, I think it was 2001? Some of those readers never came out of their stupors. Still others are permanently locked in a trance and, I might add, are better off.
The meddling Food and Drug Administration came by the Printing Impressions offices, however, and nailed a warning on the door that prohibits me from writing any more “hypnotic columns.”
This first gift is wrapped in Tiffany’s blue paper, contained in a Tiffany’s blue box and wrapped in their signature blue ribbon. I’m sorry but this gift is a re-gift. My friend and former client, Russell Hill of Clarke Printing in San Antonio, TX, sent me this gift and is allowing me to “re-gift” it to you. Russell is a “former” client because I sold his company to Mail-Well (now Cenveo) back in 1998.
Russell reacted to my column about the tiresome abuse of business jargon by sending a great board game that I have renamed “Bull Dung Bingo.” You can imagine its original name, which I can’t use because this is a family column.
You will need an 81⁄2×11˝ piece of paper. Draw a square and then divide it into five rows and five columns. You now have 25 squares. Within each square write either a word or phrase that you consider jargon, a platitude or hackneyed. Russell’s 25 squares contained: Synergy, Strategic Fit, Core Competencies, Best Practice, Bottom Line, Revisit, Take that Off Line, 24/7, Out of the Loop, Benchmark, Value-added, Pro-Active, Win-Win, Think Outside the Box, Fast Track, Results Driven, Empower, Knowledge Base, At the End of the Day, Touch Base, Mindset, Client Focused, Paradigm, Game Plan and Leverage.