The Fly and the Hair
Finding our table sticky and crumb-coated, I signaled for a waitress who was busy at another table. A sober glance, and a mildly-annoyed finger in the air, told us we would need to wait for assistance. We would just have to keep our hands and (God forbid) elbows off the table, until someone came to wipe up the leavings of the prior guests.
In due time, a young man arrived at our table and, after a few hasty swipes with a soppy rag, also made a hasty retreat.
"Ah, well," I smiled at our always gracious guests, "It'll dry soon!"
Right on cue, our always upbeat friend, Tim (who had likely missed his calling as a stand-up comic), supplied some welcome laughter, while—hands and elbows still hovering over the table—we waited for our "wonderful experience" to begin.
During the wait, Karen told us she had just had extensive oral surgery and there was not much on the menu that she could eat! But, she insisted we all order our steaks and enjoy—she would just eat "something soft." I'm thinking pasta, but she chose a creamed-something soup and water. So much for her dining experience—I had no idea!
Having all placed our orders, we found we had plenty of time to talk about...well, actually, our whole lives (or maybe take a short vacation), before our food would arrive.
Eventually, three salads were placed before us looking a bit wilted, as if they had used the last lettuce in the bin, having served the fresher produce to earlier patrons.
Karen's soup, it turned out, came with an added attraction. Using her salad fork, Karen fished a long, brown HAIR out of her bowl and nicely pushed it aside, saying, "It's okay, I'm not really that hungry anyway."
Almost at the same time, Susan’s more formidable “Eeeooooo” had caught our attention. There it was—a small horse fly; shiny, green and dead, atop the butter lettuce.
Philip Beyer, founder/president of Ebiz Products LLC and founder of Beyer Printing Inc. in Nashville Tenn., is a chronic entrepreneur, business systems analyst and consultant. Author of "System Busters: How to Stop Them in Your Business" and recipient of an InterTech Technology Award for the design and development of System100 business process management software. Beyer speaks to business owners across the country on how to bring lean, sustainable order to their businesses. Contact him at (615) 425-2652.