Still Going Strong —DeWese

THIS COLUMN is the first in my 23rd year of occupying this space. Last month’s column was my 22nd anniversary. I forgot that important milestone and, now, Attila the Editor is pouting because I forgot the fancy diecut, frilly card, the 22 long stemmed roses and the wine—or does he like candy?

I’ve had two big boss editors. The first editor published my first column in November of 1984, announced she was pregnant and left to have the baby. I’ve had Attila (aka Mark Michelson) as my editor ever since then.

Attila decided the magazine needed some serious substantive columnists along side me, so over the 22 years there have been about 87 other columnists, some of whom wrote one column and left, and others who toiled for several years. Was it 87 or 45? Sometimes I get my lists confused.

Then Attila decided that I was too hard to manage and to chase down for my copy, so he hired a series of assistants that he titled variously “Managing Editor” or “Associate Special Editor” or “Crush and Brutalize Mañana Man Editor.” One was even titled “Attila Junior.”

Let me think for a minute—always painful for me. I’m trying to think of all the different “editors” that I have been forced to entrust with my Magnificent Mañana Manuscripts. That was alliteration and none of the young editors ever understood that art form. We had a U.S. vice president one time who was Greek and he used a lot of alliteration in his speeches. His name was Spiro Agnew and I’ve forgotten why, but he never got to finish his term.

Most of my Prose Police would call and whine, “Mañana person, this is your editor. Are you aware that the second sentence in paragraph three on page seven has three words sequentially beginning with the letter ‘m?’ ”