The Problem with Familiarity: Think Before You Speak
My daughter, Emma, was married couple of Fridays ago. As time goes by, we will remember the joy and beauty of the day, how the two brides stood proudly in front of friends and family and declared their vows to each other. We will remember the venue, the Farmers Market in Ithaca, N.Y., and we will laugh (hopefully) about the stupid mistakes an overconfident and underprepared DJ made, proving once again that familiarity breeds contempt.
- He started off by saying, "It’s been great to get to know you both so well” despite the fact this was only the second time they laid eyes on each other. That should have been a warning sign … ;
- He listed the names of those family members who had passed away … and included one set of grandparents who were not only very much alive but standing directly in front of him;
- Then he announced the bridal party, ending with, " … and now, here comes the husband and wife";
- And finally, he managed to screw up the song for the couples’ first dance, a choreographed mix of a couple of songs with Emma’s voice over. The look my daughter gave him could’ve killed.
This might have been the DJ’s 100th wedding, but it was Emma and Alex’s first. With a brain and mouth on auto pilot, and not thinking before he spoke, the DJ made multiple errors that, while funny, demonstrated his lack of preparation and professionalism. We were just the next gig on his calendar. He claimed he knew the brides, but he didn't care enough to mean it.
This is a mistake you make once. I've even made it myself. Hopefully, the lesson is learned and you don't think while talking, you think first and then talk. The next time, you don't make assumptions, you prepare and think through every detail as if it's your first time.
Familiarity really does breed contempt. It also results in the scathing Google review, as it turns out.