Heart --DeWese

In my December 2003 column, I offered to send you readers "400 Sales Tips for Printing Sales Professionals." I concocted this offer at 3 a.m. on the morning of Attila the Editor's stupid deadline whilst I was stoned on a caffeine high. Coffee is about all I have left now that I'm on this stupid South Beach diet and working out with a personal trainer. So far, my 61-year-old biceps are up to 18˝, I'm begging my neighbors to let me redecorate their homes and I can bench press about twice my IQ. The 400 tips idea was a gratuitous, self-serving act. I

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