DeWese--All the Write Stuff. . .
You asked me to critique your letters, and I hardly know where to begin. I will begin by congratulating you for being resourceful enough to use sales letters as another means of communication with print buyers. Too many salespeople limit themselves by not using the written word as a way to build sales.
As to your writing style, Marvelle, it is unique. Yes, that's the word: unique. For example, I don't remember ever reading a letter that contained so many incomplete sentences. Sentences are complete thoughts containing, at least, a subject and a predicate. In several of your sentences, I was unable to detect either.
Additionally, I must comment that your spelling is most creative. Many people are not good spellers. You have entire "sentences," however, where every word is misspelled in the traditional dictionary sense. Yet I must admit that your spelling is catchy and commands the reader's attention.
Marvelle, doesn't your company have its own stationery or a typewriter? Sending handwritten letters on your paper supplier's complimentary notepads may confuse your customers. You also appear to have obtained a supply of the stationery from the Ramada Inn in Laurel, MS. Ramada Inn letterhead will most certainly confuse your letter's recipient.
Marvelle, your letters have given me an idea. I'm going to develop a sales letter manual for graphic arts sales professionals. And, Marvelle, I'm going to dedicate it to you. Usually I procrastinate until the last minute about my magazine columns, books and articles. This time, however, I'm staying at this computer until the manual is complete.
"The Ol' Mañana Man"
Well, I did it. I wrote the manual back in 1987. Well, wouldn't you know? The NAPL (National Association for Printing Leadership) asked me if it could update, expand and republish the book. They know how busy I am, so they hired a real writer, Dr. Cosmos F. Ferrara to "revise and enhance the book for the new millennium." He did a wonderful job and, among other things, the book now contains letters to customers and prospects for 30 print sales situations. Dr. Ferrara has expanded "How to Write Profit Building Sales Letters" to 125 pages.