Common Sales Ailments — DeWese

The next disease that I have isolated in my laboratory is called Rosea Redassa Letharga. RRL is closely related to MPN, but is particularly characterized by a virulent rash on the buttocks, as well as the enlargement and expansion of said buttocks. This results in men having pear-shaped bodies and frequent scratching of the aforementioned body parts. Women, who rarely contract RRL, merely buy one of those thigh machines and see a dermatologist. This disease, however, is much more frequent among print salesmen who sit on their rash all day; it is hardly ever found among print saleswomen because they have a much stronger worth ethic.

Yet another affliction is called Redunditis Verbosum et Booritis. These are salespeople who can’t sell their way out of a wet paper bag because they are crashing boors. Customers and prospects become nauseous in their presence. This disease causes the salesperson to believe that he is charming, funny and irresistible. He is often observed with poorly fitted clothing, ear hair, nose hair and dandruff, and suffers from body odor. The disease, however, clouds the patient’s mind, thus he is oblivious to the gagging nausea among his customers.

You may have noticed that this column is about print salesmen and their receptiveness to these diseases. Women are less vulnerable due to the fact that they tend to be more professional. I am hoping for more women owners, CEOs and print salespeople. To that end, I founded—along with Joan Davidson, president of The Sheraton Press and chairman of the NAPL—The Joan Davidson Scholarship Fund to encourage and support the higher education of women wishing a career in the printing industry. E-mail me for details at deweseh@comcapltd.com. Now, either move your car to the Starbucks parking lot or Get Out There And Sell Something!

—Harris DeWese

About the Author
Harris DeWese is the author of Now Get Out There and Sell Something, available through NAPL or PIA/GATF. He is chairman and CEO at Compass Capital Partners and is an author of the annual “Compass Report,” the definitive source of information regarding printing industry M&A activity. DeWese has completed more than 100 printing company transactions and is viewed as the preeminent deal maker in the printing industry. He specializes in investment banking, mergers and acquisitions, sales, marketing, planning and management services to printing companies. He can be reached via