Scarier Than Halloween: What Keeps Print Buyers Up at Night

Think Friday the 13th is scary? Print Buyers Online.com recently polled major print media buyers to ask what keeps them up at night. Not surprising, respondents unanimously said they would rather face off with Jason any day than confront these print nightmares. . .

• a print job where the quoted price is $18,836, but the final invoice is $52,038

• a color-blind pressman

• when the art director, Fabio the Fanatic, insists on attending the press check

• anytime a printer says “It’s on the truck.”

• a press check at 3 o’clock in the morning. . .in a remote small town in Iowa. . .during a blizzard

• a print run of a million brochures with the digits transposed in the company phone number

• when the printer swears it delivered 10,000 brochures, but the mailhouse swears it only received 9,000

• when a printer says, “We have no idea why that problem happened with your last print job, but you can be assured that it will never happen again!”

• a proofing process that requires 10 people to sign off on the proof, none of whom know anything about printing

So what makes you afraid to answer the phone or hide under your desk in terror?

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Comments
  • http://Beverly Beverly

    When I find out something has to be designed, printed and delivered in a week.

  • http://Bruce Bruce

    May the paper arrive,<br />
    May the presses run,<br />
    May the client pay,<br />
    When the job is done.<br />
    And when I die,<br />
    Let my body rest, <br />
    Where I’ll never see,<br />
    another press…..<br />

  • http://steve steve

    "You mean the pressman is not responsible for typos? Can’t he spell?"

  • http://Lorie Lorie

    When the account manager with no experience has the largest account and the client’s corporate color is Pantone Black 4 Matte

  • http://Tobin Tobin

    When a printer uses the word "solution" in reference to anything besides ink and paper.

  • http://Richard Richard

    The famous words "no problem"……

  • http://ClarkHime Clark Hime

    When the pressroom knows it is not printing on register material, but sends the customer proofs showing that they are running on register material.

  • http://ErnieRamzulli Ernie Ramzulli

    Do you do this column as a courtesy or do you get paid for it? If you get paid, you should give today’s check back.<br />
    (Editor’s note: Our nightmare is a reader not taking a post as the spoof it was intended to be or being too busy to appreciate a moment of whimsy.)