Got to Have ‘It’ —DeWese
I GUESS you all saw that Mister Hot Shot George Clooney won People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive!” competition.
This is twice for Clooney.
Brad Pitt won twice.
Last year I called People magazine to inquire about my ranking in the competition. I wasn’t even in their database.
This year I called People again and inquired about my standing in the ranking. A kind and very patient researcher performed an in-depth search while I held on the phone. No luck.
I suggested that just maybe she would find me in the “M’s” as the “Mañana Man.” Yep. She found me. The People researcher said I was in the Hispanic Sexy Man database because of the tilde over the “n” in Mañana. She added, however, “But I’m sorry Mr. Mann. You received no votes in any of the Latin American countries. According to our demographics, at 64, you are little old to be considered seriously.”
That just stinks! What about Newman (81), Redford (69) and Burt Reynolds (70)? They are all older than me. They got lots of votes. John Wayne and Clark Gable both got more than 100,000 votes and they are dead!
I asked about some of my so-called “colleagues” here at PRINTING IMPRESSIONS. Not only were they in the damn database, but they all got votes. The rankings were Mark “Attila the Editor” Michelson, 196 votes; Chris “Little Attila” Bauer, 104 votes; and Erik “Teddy Bear” Cagle, 81 votes. The researcher said, “Not bad. But, remember that, oooh, um, yum yum George Clooney got over 19 million votes.”
I want to get ready for the next ranking so I demanded the People researcher tell me the criteria on which women judged sexy men. I was thinking it might just something as simple as the James Dean persona in “Rebel Without a Cause” or the black leather jacket-look of Marlon Brando as “The Wild One.” I recalled that the girls in my high school went limp for that brooding, mysterious type.
She began, “Our research tells us that women today are first voting for integrity. To them, honesty is very appealing.” I thought, “Humph. Here we go with some monologue on the nobility of women. Next, she will tell me that the guy has to have a sense of humor.”
Then she said, “After the woman has established a man’s integrity, as they did with George Clooney, the guy has to possess a great sense of humor.”
“Knew it,” I mumbled to myself.
She continued, “It’s preferable if he doesn’t take himself too seriously and can laugh at himself. I can always tell by the guy’s eyes—they sparkle and dance.”
I thought, “She’s telling me that was worth 19 million votes?”
Show Some Poise
The researcher continued. “The women who voted for Clooney told us they want a man who is poised and self-confident. You know, men with strong self-esteem. They don’t rattle under pressure. They know who they are and know what they can do.
“A guy must understand women and know how to meet their needs for dependability, security, protection and responsiveness.
“This next characteristic is imperative,” she stressed. “The man must be knowledgeable, not necessarily intellectual, but he should have wide interests and be conversant on many subjects. He should be a great listener and make a woman believe that he has heard her when she talks.”
Finally, my new friend the People researcher said, “Our data shows that the word ‘sexy’ as in the world’s ‘sexiest’ man doesn’t just mean some physical appeal. Oh, there’s some of that. But, it means the man must have qualities that make his presence appealing. There is some magic that causes you to wish to be in his company.”
She giggled a little and noted, “After all that, George Clooney is slam dunk gorgeous!”
So, I thought, maybe there’s some other contest more suitable for me. Could I be the “World’s Most Generous Grandpa?” Or, I know, I’ll bet I’m the “World’s Best Over 60 Cook.”
Then it struck me like a bolt of lightning.
I’d love to have about 12 men and women print sales professionals with all of the “George Clooney” characteristics. Let’s see...They included honesty, sense of humor, poise, self-confidence, dependability, listening skills and a likability factor.
Have you ever noticed how people who have these qualities are also physically appealing? I don’t mean “Clooney slam dunk gorgeous,” I just mean they are attractive people. There is some indescribable inner beauty. Not especially beautiful, not so tall, no flat belly slenderness. Maybe not great features, but still “appealing” because their personal pride causes them to make a good first, second and third impression.
If I had a dozen graphic arts salespeople with those Clooney characteristics, I could conquer the world. Then I’d be the “World’s Best Sales Manager.”
Well, I know the power hitters in print sales got the point of this column. I just hope some of the bench players got it. I know the sales managers and company owners got it.
Now, I’ve got to get out of here. I’m busy writing the copy for the dust jackets for my three books that are being printed now.
You also need to get out of here and get busy. You need to get out there and sell something! PI
About the Author
Harris DeWese is the author of Now Get Out There and Sell Something, available through NAPL or PIA/GATF. He is chairman and CEO at Compass Capital Partners and is an author of the annual “Compass Report,” the definitive source of information regarding printing industry M&A activity. DeWese has completed more than 100 printing company transactions and is viewed as the pre- eminent deal maker in the printing industry. He specializes in investment banking, mergers and acquisitions, sales, marketing, planning and management services to printing companies. He can be reached via e-mail at DeWeseH@ComCapLtd.com.