Some Holiday Gift Giving —DeWese

All of my PhD candidates are on holiday vacation. I have been conducting a Doctoral program for graphic arts sales professionals to earn PhDs in print sales and marketing.

I scheduled a 30-day holiday break so my students could party, shop and celebrate with their families. Depending on their religious affiliations, they have trees to decorate, candles to light and carols to sing. Some of them might, I said "might," even try and sell some printing.

I love this time of year because my mailbox is stuffed with lots of printed material. Good stuff like catalogs from Land's End, Tattoo World, Column Writers' Fashions and Victoria's Secret. All of the Christmas-related, printed material warms my heart. It's refreshing after being forced to watch all those TV political cartoons—er, I meant to say political "commercials" where I learned absolutely nothing about why any candidate deserved my vote. The candidates spent $3 billion on lousy 30-second TV spots, which should have been spent on print to actually communicate their platforms. I know...you're thinking, "Most of the American public only has a 30-second attention span and would never read a few printed pages."

I usually try to use my December column as a way to deliver a gift to readers. Oh, it would've been easy to buy 250,000 quarts of Wild Turkey or Jack Daniels Black this year. But then I discovered that some of you are teetotalers and it's illegal to ship booze into some states. I actually considered sending you non-drinkers expensive bottles of perfume or cologne. But then I learned that Ralph Lauren's Notorious is priced at $3,540. So, I decided that gifts I could make would mean more to you than some outrageously expensive department store fragrance.

All the Colors of Crayola

When I was a kid and whined about having too little money to buy Christmas gifts, my dear mother would say, "Harris, homemade gifts mean more than any ol' store-bought stuff." She was a Midwest farm girl, and that's the way my mom talked. Hence, I would get out my crayon box and create artwork for my grandparents, sister and parents.

Back then there were only eight Crayola colors, so my palette was somewhat limited. My creations were usually beautiful landscapes featuring trees, flowers, grass, clouds, Mr. Sun and Mrs. Moon. Sometimes I would also include my dog, Parson, in the picture—usually sleeping under a tree.

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