Consider Taking Tips to Heart –DeWese

In my December 2003 column, I offered to send you readers “400 Sales Tips for Printing Sales Professionals.” I concocted this offer at 3 a.m. on the morning of Attila the Editor’s stupid deadline whilst I was stoned on a caffeine high. Coffee is about all I have left now that I’m on this stupid South Beach diet and working out with a personal trainer. So far, my 61-year-old biceps are up to 18˝, I’m begging my neighbors to let me redecorate their homes and I can bench press about twice my IQ.

The 400 tips idea was a gratuitous, self-serving act. I assumed most of my readers would be amazed at my generosity, but would be either too lazy or too self-satisfied to ever actually request the tips.

I never dreamed that several hundred readers would immediately e-mail me and ask for these non-existent tips.

Well, now they exist and I’ve sent them to everyone who wrote to me. I missed Christmas, New Year’s and the Super Bowl typing up these damn things. I had to wade through old cocktail napkins, scraps of paper, the backs of envelopes and a pile of matchbook covers, and the document turned out to be enormous (116 pages and 30,569 words).

More, For Free

I lost track of the tip count, which turned out to be 419 tips. So everybody got more than they bargained for. Which, incidentally, cost them nothing, nada, no dinero, $0.00.

It seems that my coffee-induced act of deadline desperation has turned out to be a hit, at least in the world of printing salespeople.

Now, if anyone else wants the tips, it will cost you a check for $40 payable to either Tomorrows Children’s Fund (cancer research for children) or The Spear Youth and Family Center (a full-functioning YMCA for underprivileged kids and their parents).

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