California Printers — Geography Has Its Perks

OK, WE aren’t going to pull any punches here. California is a state of thieves. Dirty, rotten, shameless thieves.

It’s in your blood; can’t be denied. People flocked here in 1848 to take gold away from mother nature. San Francisco started as a shanty town housing these crooks, and now it’s one of the most expensive places in the world to live. What kind of swindle is that? Even the lighthouse was torn down on Alcatraz Island in favor of a prison.

Fast forward 110 years, and we see Los Angeles and San Francisco pilfer baseball’s Brooklyn Dodgers and New York Giants, respectively. Hey, New York stole Super Bowl XLII earlier this year.

And, speaking of sports crimes, how about hockey’s Los Angeles Kings? They heisted Wayne Gretzky from the Edmonton Oilers and instantly turned that franchise into a pile of rubble. They nearly had to close Alberta altogether. No wonder Canada still gives us dirty looks from time to time.

California’s courts can’t even follow through and properly punish the crooks that are caught red-handed. Celebrities seem to receive a perpetual “Get Out of Jail Free” card. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie and Britney Spears get away with murder when it comes to abusing driving privileges while abusing substances. O.J. Simpson got away with murder when…OK, never mind. Winona Ryder five- finger discounted some clothing, and it gave Hollywood a reason to contact her publicist. Mel Gibson slammed Hebrews the world over, and the buzz carried over to his next motion picture deal.

Is Charles Manson the only Californian to ever get hard time for his transgressions?

OK, so maybe we’re being hard on the Golden State. Sorry about that. We can’t help but admit being envious. What’s not to like about California? The sun, the sand, the surf, the beautiful (and sometimes augmented) women and hunky men. There’s La-La Land, the Golden Gate Bridge, Hollywood, Napa Valley and all things Southern California. And you’re all so laid back, wearing genuine smiles, sipping wine, browsing through the sitcom treatment you’ve developed. These are among the nicest people you’ll ever meet.

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